once by my bedside...

once, i sat by the side of my bed and wrote this down... wrote what i had felt... felt what i had thought... thought about life... life i found in you... you're out there, somewhere, i don't know where, but if the wind can bring these words to thy ear... then hear me and my heart shall speak of what it yearns to convey...

~theweed

once i sat by the side of my bed
in my hand, clutching a picture of you in my mind
so radiant, so serene...
i wondered, how much of myself would i give you
freely, without reserve...
how strong will i have to be?
it was raining then
the moist air creeping through my cheeks
the cold, chilly night-rest from which i sat
all but my breath lay quiet
in the solace of my earthen home
in my weak heart, i know
that i would not survive a day
without feeling your warmth,
without hearing the sweet, elating nature of your voice

i knew then, that it's YOU, that would be the one
to spend with me, my frail life
not behind me, not as a mere partner
but beside me, in warmly shared clutches of our hands
to be my bestfriend, my confidant, my love, my very breath..
the world may see in these lines
only a worthless tangle of words
but it is not, it will never be, as how other people will see it
for with every word jotted, every syllable muttered
out will my love for you flow...
and only through my eyes will they see
that it is not gold, nor a jagged piece of compressed carbon
is most precious in this place of space
but it is, in my heart and in my life, only you...

not a moment gone by that my thoughts stray
from the sweet scent of your memory..
so far away beyond cascading ripples of a myriad of waves
i raise my arms, in an open embrace
hoping against hope to reach out towards you...
my dearest, my sweet beloved
days pass, moments slip
rains shower bountifully
over this dry and dusty forest of stone
yet here i lay
on a matress of cotton,
parched and dry, my soul thirsts...
only your lips and your arms could quench...

my eyes gaze towards the horizon of tomorrow longing... hoping...
i close my eyes, and feel the touch of your arms
around my tired body it wraps, yet from another time...
from the distant yesterday i bask in your warmth,
yet no matter how vivid your image in my mind appears,
nothing can ever give the warmth, the sweetness
that your very presence, only, could give...
not a moment gone by that my thoughts stray
from the sweet scent of your memory... wishing... hoping...
my whole person silently, in an agonizing wail
cries... in a solitary note, bespelling my longing

once i sat by the side of my bed
in my hand, clutching a picture of you in my mind
so radiant, so serene...
i wondered, how much of myself would i give you
freely, without reserve...
i know now, that only you can tell me the answer
for all i could ever do is love you
and not force you to see what i offer
freely, that is how i shall love you...
to hold you in my arms tightly yet not suffocating...
strong, yet soft so as to lull you to slumber
under my watchful gaze...
to love you completely...


~theweed