my life 121105

lately... it's been a very big struggle... an up-hill climb... nay, more than that...

my sister spoke with me about love and it's seriousness... this was a conversation always worth remembering. i've never been that open and close with my sister, so hearing her talk to me about love and relationships made me think to myself... i am a nobody in love... sure, i've got quite a resume... people put so much faith in my knowledge and abilities to organize and compose corporate thoughts... yet when it comes to organizing my personal life... i'm a juvenile deliquent...

"kuya, loving is not about who's right or wrong... it's not about you being hurt, or her being hurt... it's about looking into your self and asking your heart how to better love the other person.. it's about wanting what's best for the other person not yourself... it's about admitting mistakes and making up... it's about doing something for the person without expecting nothing... it's about being completely open..."

loving is having your happiness in the other person... it's about looking at the other person and knowing to yourself that your happiness lies within her heart...

in my anger and my pride, in my self-serving need to give back the hurt that i had received, i had overlooked where my happiness, my true happiness lies... it's in this person that i am angry towards..

a song once said... "Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be... But you know what truth is?... it's that woman you fought with this morning, the same one you're going to make love with tonight, that's truth, that's love......"

the truth is... that inspite and despite of... love sould always be there... God should always be there...

i'd looked inside myself... and seen where my happiness is... it's with me all this time, even during the most difficult and troublesome part of life... God had made it so that I have it with me already...

"the person meant for you is the person who'll love you even when there's no more reason to love you... for in your nothingness, the one meant for you will find what's loveable in you..."