why understand?

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.

He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle, "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.

His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."


~ sometimes we are allowed to experience things we dont understand that we may be able, in return, to understand others who'll be undergoing the change later than we are... it's the marinate before the fry, the foamy cream before the shave, the system boot before the OS runs... - theweed

once by my bedside...

once, i sat by the side of my bed and wrote this down... wrote what i had felt... felt what i had thought... thought about life... life i found in you... you're out there, somewhere, i don't know where, but if the wind can bring these words to thy ear... then hear me and my heart shall speak of what it yearns to convey...

~theweed

once i sat by the side of my bed
in my hand, clutching a picture of you in my mind
so radiant, so serene...
i wondered, how much of myself would i give you
freely, without reserve...
how strong will i have to be?
it was raining then
the moist air creeping through my cheeks
the cold, chilly night-rest from which i sat
all but my breath lay quiet
in the solace of my earthen home
in my weak heart, i know
that i would not survive a day
without feeling your warmth,
without hearing the sweet, elating nature of your voice

i knew then, that it's YOU, that would be the one
to spend with me, my frail life
not behind me, not as a mere partner
but beside me, in warmly shared clutches of our hands
to be my bestfriend, my confidant, my love, my very breath..
the world may see in these lines
only a worthless tangle of words
but it is not, it will never be, as how other people will see it
for with every word jotted, every syllable muttered
out will my love for you flow...
and only through my eyes will they see
that it is not gold, nor a jagged piece of compressed carbon
is most precious in this place of space
but it is, in my heart and in my life, only you...

not a moment gone by that my thoughts stray
from the sweet scent of your memory..
so far away beyond cascading ripples of a myriad of waves
i raise my arms, in an open embrace
hoping against hope to reach out towards you...
my dearest, my sweet beloved
days pass, moments slip
rains shower bountifully
over this dry and dusty forest of stone
yet here i lay
on a matress of cotton,
parched and dry, my soul thirsts...
only your lips and your arms could quench...

my eyes gaze towards the horizon of tomorrow longing... hoping...
i close my eyes, and feel the touch of your arms
around my tired body it wraps, yet from another time...
from the distant yesterday i bask in your warmth,
yet no matter how vivid your image in my mind appears,
nothing can ever give the warmth, the sweetness
that your very presence, only, could give...
not a moment gone by that my thoughts stray
from the sweet scent of your memory... wishing... hoping...
my whole person silently, in an agonizing wail
cries... in a solitary note, bespelling my longing

once i sat by the side of my bed
in my hand, clutching a picture of you in my mind
so radiant, so serene...
i wondered, how much of myself would i give you
freely, without reserve...
i know now, that only you can tell me the answer
for all i could ever do is love you
and not force you to see what i offer
freely, that is how i shall love you...
to hold you in my arms tightly yet not suffocating...
strong, yet soft so as to lull you to slumber
under my watchful gaze...
to love you completely...


~theweed

jim's american tale...

Can we resolve the past,
Lurking jaws, joints of time?
The Base
To come of age in a dry place,
Holes and caves.

My friend drove an hour each day from the mountains.
The bus gives you a hard-on with books in your lap.
Someone shot the bird in the afternoon dance show.
They gave out free records to the best couple.
Spades dance best, from the hip.

The music was new,
black polished chrome
And came over the summer
like liquid night.
The DJ's took pills to stay awake
and play for seven days.
They went to the studio
and someone knew him;
Someone knew the TV showman.
He came to your homeroom party
and played records
And when he left in the hot noon sun
and walked to his car,
We saw the chooks had written
F-U-C-K on his windshield
He wiped it off with a white rag
and smiling coolly drove away.
He's rich. Got a big car.

My gang will get you...
Scenes of rape in the arroyo
Seductions in cars, abandoned buildings.
Fights at the food stand.
The dust.
The shoes.
Open shirts and raised collars.
Bright sculptured hair.

Hey man, you want girls, pills, grass? C'mon...
I show you good time.
This place has everything. C'mon...
I show you.

Angels and sailors,
rich girls,
backyard fences,
tents,
Dreams watching each other narrowly,
Soft luxuriant cars.
Girls in garages, stripped
out to get liquor and clothes,
half gallons of wine and six packs of beer.
Jumped, humped, born to suffer,
made to undress in the wilderness.

I will never treat you mean
Never start no kind of scene
I'll tell you every place and person that I've been

Always a playground instructor, never a killer,
Always a bridesmaid on the verge of fame or over,
He maneuvered two girls in to his hotel room.
One a friend, the other, the young one, a newer stranger
Vaguely Mexican or Puerto Rican.
Poor boys thighs and buttocks scarred by a father's belt,
She's trying to rise.
Story of her boyfriend, of teenage stoned death games,
Handsome lad, dead in a car.
Confusion.
No connections.
Come 'ere.
I love you.
Peace on earth.
Will you die for me?
Eat me.
This way.
The end.

I'll always be true
Never go out, sneaking out on you, babe
If only you'll show me Far Arden again.

I'm surprised you could get it up.
He whips her lightly, sardonically, with belt.
Haven't I been through enough? she asks,
Now dressed and leaving
The Spanish girl begins to bleed;
She says her period.
It's Catholic heaven.
I have an ancient Indian crucifix around my neck,
My chest is hard and brown.
Lying on stained, wretched sheets with a bleeding virgin,
We could plan a murder,
Or start a religion.

I'll tell you this...
No eternal reward will forgive us now
For wasting the dawn.

Back in those days everything was simpler and more confused.
One summer night, going to the pier,
I ran into two young girls.
The blonde was called Freedom,
The dark one, Enterprise.
We talked and they told me this story:
Now listen to this...I'll tell you about Texas radio and the big beat.
Soft driven, slow and mad
Like some new language,
Reaching your hand with the cold, sudden fury of a divine messenger.
Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god,
Wandering, wandering in hopeless night.
Out here in the perimeter there are no stars,

Out here we is stoned
Immaculate.

The movie will begin in five moments,
The mindless voice announced,
All those unseated will await the next show.

We filed slowly, languidly into the hall.
The auditorium was vast and silent.
As we seated and darkened, the voice continued:

The program for this evening is not new,
You've seen this entertainment through and through.
You've seen your birth, your life and death,
You might recall all of the rest.
Did you have a good world when you died?
Enough to base a movie on?

I'm getting out of here!
Where are you going?
To the other side of morning.
Please don't chase the clouds, pagodas

Her cunt gripped him like a warm, friendly hand.

It's all right, all your friends are here.
When can I meet them?
After you've eaten.
I'm not hungry.
Uh, we meant beaten.

Silvery stream, silvery scream
Oooooh, impossible concentration.

Curses, Invocations
Weird bate-headed mongrels
I keep expecting one of you to rise.
Large buxom obese queens
Garden hogs and cunt veterans
Quaint cabbage saints
Shit hoarders and individualists
Drag strip officials
Tight lipped losers and
Lustful fuck salesmen
My militant dandies
All strange order of monsters
Hot on the trail of the woodvine
We welcome you to our procession.

Here come the Comedians
Look at them smile
Watch them dance an Indian mile.
Look at them gesture
How aplomb
So to gesture everyone.
Words dissemble
Words be quick
Words resemble walking sticks.
Plant them they will grow Watch them waver so.
I'll always be a word man
Better than a bird man.

love in pablo's eyes, her on my mind...

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way...

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

every breath, every move
every thought i have is her...
the touch of her hands
its warmth likened to a fever

i do not know her yet
nor am i aware that i've met her
yet in the silence of my soul
i hear the sweetness of her laughter

i see her in my mirror
i smell her scent in the air
so calm and so mild
i imagine the smoothness of her hair...

she's not by my side yet
and only father time can tell
so for now i close my eyes
and to her i'll be closer...

~theweed